The Beauty and the Beast (Alvis/Battle)

[Akira Nakajima]

Akira was flying on the Alma Elma Airlines. Nothing like a scenic flight through the purple horizon of ruined Mosaic City. It was an iconic drift, and exceedingly comfortable. With the pressure of two glorious succubus mounds on his back and the soft embrace of a devil of lust wrapped around his chest, how could dangling precariously over the barren wasteland possibly be anything less than exciting and life-changing? That was a simple thing to answer, when one boiled things down. It simply could not be less than that.

Sarcasm aside, it sucked.

Whenever the wind did blow, it went straight up his skirt and massaged his underwear. Frosty private bits was not exactly pleasant. Which, in a roundabout way of perversion, meant that it was pleasant. His chest felt squeezed from Alma's grip. Worse yet, since the devil used his arms as a means of keeping him there, it made the appendages sore. All in all? It was a highly uncomfortable situation. Which, again with his inner workings, somehow made it pleasant due to masochistic tendencies. How else could he tolerate some of the people he dealt with?

With a long, drawn-out, and absolutely deadpan “Wafuuuu” as he and his succubus soared through the open sky, the crossdresser floated aimlessly, like a leaf imprisoned by the winds of the world.

[Alvis Hartmann]

Alvis was in a shitty mood today. His work day was just fine; as were all the customers that he dealt with. Nobody really gave him any trouble at all. In fact, nobody managed to even anger him in the slightest. Nothing bad happened to him on break either. So, just why was he pissed today? Truthfully, he had prepared for a shitty day. And what did the man get? A pleasant one. Just perfect. Thinking about it again, the man's eyes twitched as he grunted again. The cigarette in mouth snapped off as he bit down on it. Truly, Alvis was having an extremely shitty day.

And so, the man found himself in the ruins of the city as a means not to calm himself down, but to prevent him from getting any madder. His breathing was heavy, just like anyone who had just ran a marathon. Only, he hadn't done a single bit of physical exertion yet today. He was just. . . mad. Pulling out another cigarette and lighting it, the man looked up into the sky and noticed something odd. Narrowing his eyes, the man just stared at the site.

It was some girl flying around like some special needs kid with some sort of bat woman with her. What was she even doing, anyway? Whatever it was, it looked stupid. This girl, was stupid. She looked stupid. Alvis didn't like the way she looked, flying around like an idiot. Slowly, his breathing became louder and quicker. . . .hmmm His gaze at the girl intensified as he clenched his fist. . . .hmmmmmmmmmmm Getting up from his spot on a pile of rubble, the man began to look for something large. Preferably, something not cemented into the ground. Then, the man spotted an old ice cream truck. HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. Walking over to the ice cream truck, the man grabbed at it with both hands, causing that iconic ice cream truck music to play. Then, in two quick motions, the man lifted the entire truck up and tossed it at the girl flying in the air like some sort of idiot.

[Akira Nakajima]

There he was! Enjoying the not-really-at-all-enjoyable airs of the ruins. Minding his business. Nothing major. And what happens? He hears an ice cream truck. Why the hell would there even be an ice cream truck active in the ruins? Was it Shadow-possessed, like that train? Looking down, the boy realized that that was wishful thinking. No, the truck had obviously sprouted damn wings and was flying at the boy and devil combo. Yeah, sure. Okay. Outer Circle rules. What happened in the Outer Circle stayed in the Outer Circle. If only “what happened on the ground stayed on the ground” was a damn rule. Without a word, the boy and devil combo shifted to the side and began descending quickly. Sharing the same will and mind meant communication was unnecessary.

The truck crashed. . . somewhere in the distance. The resounding crunch met his ears. Okay, so it was not the truck, but something else that initiated that attack. The crossdresser straightened his glasses and compared his location to the angle the truck had to come in. He traced it. Then, he saw something in the distance. A man. Okay. Normal people don't exactly have the strength to lob vehicles into the air like dead shells. This dude had to be a Shadow. After his last two special encounters with “unique” individuals, he was not taking a singular damn chance. Willing for the succubus to hide behind him and use Heat Riser, Akira approached the blonde man. He looked pretty tall. Outfit made him look like a waiter of sorts. Reminded him of Mister Moore.

”Hey, hey, hey. What the hell's the big deal? You did that, Mister?” Subtlety? Heeeell no.

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Need a miracle. 1 = no bus stop1-5

[Alvis Hartmann]

Alvis watched the object fly in the sky, watching it head straight for that damn girl. His eyes widened every second that the vehicle got closer. But when the girl moved, something in him snapped. He remained still for now. Expecting the girl to simply run away, he watched as she came straight to him. It would seem that he had been spotted by her from this distance. Not that it really mattered to him. He was simply angry.

The girl tried talking to him; asking him what the big deal was. But Alvis? He wasn't concerned with any of that. He was much more concerned with looking for something else to throw. And as it would happen, there was a lovely school bus nearby. Walking over to it while ignoring the girl's chatter, the man picked the entire bus up by its front end and held it over his head. Fuckingpieceofshitretardbirdgirl. He was simply mumbling to himself as the entire bus began to lift up. And once again, he tossed the large object with amazing accuracy at the girl. His breathing was long and heavy. Not to mention loud. And then, again, he began to walk closer to make sure he squished it.

Action: Throwing a bus

[Akira Nakajima]

Rather than receiving an answer, the crossdresser received a bus. Literally being lobbed at him like some sort of dodgeball. He had every intention of dodging the “attack”, but the edge caught him as it flew by. Being knocked back, and subsequently pulled up, by Alma Elma, the boy realized his fake glasses were knocked away. Hair shifted into his face and blocked his vision. With a grunt, the boy straightened his hair. The succubus retrieved his glasses. The boy situated the now-bent set upon his nose. He was angry. Naturally, the boy willed for another Heat Riser. If this asshole was throwing vehicles around, then he needed every boost he could get.

”'kay, then. Thanks for the physical answer, asshole. How about you start explaining before I start returnin' the favor?” Simple, to the point, and matching his feelings. That was the best way to ensure that he was fully understood by the blonde.

Action: Heat Riser, obviously.
Notes: Heat Riser x2


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1-2, the telephone pole is disconnected.
1-5

[Alvis Hartmann]

As the smoke from the tossed bus cleared, Alvis' eyes strained as they set upon the girl once more. He was very much still in one piece. Continuing his heavy grunting, the man shambled over to a telephone pole and began to pull it out of the ground. Listen HERE you little shit. Slowly, large amounts of concrete and dirt began to get pulled up along with the telephone pole as it was pulled out of the ground until Alvis managed to pull it all the way out. You ever read the book, 'Waiter has a Shitty Day?' His voice was loud enough to reach a couple of blocks down. this was probably just another benefit from his nature as a shadow.

Then, with one quick motion, he brought the pole horizontally. The resulting movement cause a large amount of dust to fly up where the pole went. YOU'RE LOOKIN AT HIM. With the pole fully horizontal, the man swung it like he would a baseball bat. A gigantic, metal baseball bat. And the ball? The ball was this stupid looking stupid girl. And Alvis planned on getting a home run.

Action: Swinging a telephone pole

[Akira Nakajima]

Bad day, shitty day, boo-fuckin'-hoo. Akira dealt with a number of situations that were hardly “pleasant”, and nobody saw him pulling up telephone poles, or bats, and beating things to death with them. The boy just ducked underneath the incoming pole. Simple! But Alma Elma was whacked like a ball. The result? A throbbing pain in the boy's head and a phantom sensation in his side. Okay. He was annoyed. This person was a threat to society. He'd have been in danger if not for Heat Riser. The succubus gradually flew back in, responding to the boy's desire for a third and final Heat Riser. Akira, though? He just stared at the blonde, unamused as he stood straight.

”And? Is violence your means of stress relief? Well aren't you just the gold-star fuckin' adult of the damn year?” He'd likely need to heal, regardless of whether or not the next- he'd accepted he'd be attacked again- blow connected. Either way, he wasn't going to back down. There was little doubt this absurd violation to common sense was inhuman. Stretching his arms, then his legs, the boy prepared himself. He was getting limber. He didn't exactly find the idea of being continuously hit by this asshole to be appealing.

”I'm just gonna ask now, since I don't feel like stepping on eggshells. You're a Shadow, aren't you?” He didn't really care if he was answered or not. It wasn't even for verification that he asked. He wanted a shape- needed to know what this guy looked like in the other form to warn others. Of course, that was assuming he didn't take care of the issue then and there. It was obvious this asshole was a real threat- not like that Gin fellow, or that man-Shadow.

Action: Heat Riser, the triplet!
Notes: Heat Riser x3



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1-3, Birdie to Stay1-5

[Alvis Hartmann]

After his massive swing of the telephone pole, Alvis looked in the direction of the girl. Still alive. Squeezing the "handle" of the telephone pole, Alvis threw it to the ground with a loud banging sound that made the ground tremble ever so slightly. He simply began walking straight over to the girl. If he wanted to get things taken care of seriously, he would need to go in himself.

While he walked, he seemed to be getting quite a bit of lip from the girl. It only got him even more angry. Hot air flew out his nostrils as he stomped over to the girl who seemed to be standing up like some big goddamn hero. She said something particularly funny too. Though, Alvis wasn't one to laugh at much. Specifically, she had asked if he was a shadow. WELL NO SHIT. And you must be the star of 'Bye Bye Birdie!' He picked up his pace a bit as he closed the gap on the girl. You come here, flying around in the air like some special kid who just got told he's bein sent to the moon! I don't have much to say to some stupid piece of shit like you. Again, he picked up his pace as he grabbed at the girl and made a tossing motion in hopes of tossing her into that nearby building. His mark? The glass part, of course. And Alvis never misses his mark. BYE BYE, BIRDIE.

Action: Tossing Akira

[Akira Nakajima]

The golden rhino charged at him, grabbed him, and threw him towards a building. Fun, but Akira was used to flying by now. More than that, he knew full well how to synchronize himself and Alma Elma together. Long before he was near the building, the succubus shot in and cradled him. Following that, the succubus responded to his will to bathe the crossdresser in a healing aura. He felt his sides and head stop hurting. He was back at square one for health, but at the finish line for preparations- the ideal situation for any battle. The blonde got a few lucky shots in, sure, but now that he was high on the battle urges, this was entirely Akira's game.

”You call me stupid because I can fly? Sounds like an idiot's envy towards a bird. Of course, I'm not accusing you of that. You're probably too retarded to think about emotions other than anger. Tell me, did you hit your head? Like, I dunno, about a thousand times? It'd explain your stupid strength.” Shifting out of the succubus' arms and landing safely, the boy dusted himself off and hefted his scissors onto his shoulder. He grinned. It was a cocky grin. Smug, like he already won the fight. Part of it was for show. Part of it was honest.

”Now then. Birdie is here to stay. And, motherfucker? I'm ready to peck you to death.”

Action: Mediarahan, the return of full health
Notes: Heat Riser x3


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1-3, magic feet.
1-5

[Alvis Hartmann]

With an almost sadistic and satisfied grin, the man watched as the girl flew towards the building. However, that satisfaction was short lived as that damn bat bitch stopped his fall again. His breathing and grunting got heavier once again as he held his ground. But then, came a slew of words that the man didn't like one bit.

Idiot? Retarded? She was the retarded one. It wasn't his fault that this girl was so damn stupid that she managed to piss him off. His breathing began to get even heavier; deeper. It was an almost inhuman sound now. That wasn't the worst of it though. The worst of it was that grin she had. That grin. It was awful. He wanted to rip her face off sooo bad. And that last line? That was the final straw.

Alvis' eyes went blank as he let out a roar. Yes, a roar. Like a tiger. Moments later, he began to transform like some sort of monster. It was a gradual, but quick process. He was gigantic now, seemingly plated it something hard that would protect him from most danger. To top it all off, he was wielding a large hammer. Well, mama bird ain't here to protect the slow egg. So, I think I'm gonna squish it. With an angry expression, Alvis charged forth, hammer first. With another roar, he swung at the girl with him hammer using all of his might.

Action: White Tiger - Severe Strike Damage with 25% chance to inflict rage on enemies and Alvis

If 1, Alvis is enraged.
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[Akira Nakajima]

Finally, the boy had what he was wanting. The asshole changed shape. If Akira had to put it in words, he was facing a bipedal dark turtle with a hammer. And it was obvious that the insides of this guy's head was about as slow as the animal he ex-blondie as. Asshole was strong, sure. Without Heat Riser, he likely would have been able to two or one-shot him. However, there was one key factor to consider. He did, in fact, have Heat Riser. More than that, he had used it three times over. Offensively, defensively, and evasively, the crossdresser was at his best. The hammer came down, and the boy drifted to the side almost casually. The inhuman speed was, naturally, only a result of the skill, but it was still great to have.

”Stop wasting air and answer some questions. Do you have any ties to the barrier?” He doubted he'd get a proper answer. Hell, he doubted he'd get anything interesting out of the battle-turtle. Regardless, it was still good to ask. The more he tossed comments out, the more likely this asswipe was going to be distracted. The greater the distraction, the worse the accuracy. Whatever the case, immediately after his words, the boy leveled his scissors and slashed at the Shadow's side. It was time for his offensive.

Action: Physical attack with L5 Scissors; Slash attribute
Notes: Heat Riser x3



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Spirit feet, 1-31-3

[Alvis Hartmann]

His attack missed. Why was this girl so damn fast? It pissed him off even more. He chased after her as best he could. . . only to get slashed in the side by a pair of overly large scissors. It didn't hurt too bad. At least, since he hadn't taken a single hit yet. But it was most certainly annoying. And naturally, that annoyance didn't help in the girl's case against him.

Excuse me? Just why do I have to answer any of your damn questions!? And what's this about a barrier!? He didn't exactly know what the girl could have been talking about. The situation resolving the city was just something that happened to prevent him from leaving. Other than that, it was just another glaringly obvious event of no consequence. However, this girl was getting on his last nerve. I'm not sure who decided to give crack to the special needs kid, but I think I'm gonna smash them when I'm done with you! Again, he went in with his hammer for a full charge, hopefully smashing the girl into the ground.

Action: White Tiger

If 1, Alvis is enraged it the attack hits.
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[Akira Nakajima]

It seemed his opponent was not quite in the know regarding things greater than he. That was fine. The next swing came in, and the boy in drag carefully shifted out of the attack's way. Another ridiculously strong attack. Still, so long as he kept calm and distracted this brutish turtle, all would be well. He took a slow breath, careful to regulate his own battle-high. It was great to be fighting a really dangerous opponent. It satiated that drive that Heat Riser so carefully instilled in him without fail. However, he couldn't just go wild. Ridiculous strength just turned one into an animal if they didn't use their mind as well as their body.

”'kay, then. Moving on, where do you work, big guy?” Honestly, he didn't give a shit. He was just throwing random, personal questions at this guy with the pure intent of distracting him. However, if blondie-McShadowton was stupid enough to give a serious answer, that was cool, too. He needed a good dossier on each threatening Shadow. He had a face already. He had “waiter”. He needed something more to go on. If the Shadow didn't give him info, and he didn't finish this guy off here and now, then maybe Alisa could be of assistance.

Regardless, like before, he shifted in within range and slashed at the giant's side. For now, he'd slow the titan down with bug bites.

Action: Physical attack with L5 Scissors; Slash attribute
Notes: Heat Riser x3

[Alvis Hartmann]

Again, his attack missed. And again, he felt the slash of the scissors on his side. I twas somewhat painful, but nothing compared to what he felt mentally. He was seething with rage at this point. Usually he could at least take out his anger on his target. But this time? He couldn't even get the chance to hit it. The thing kept moving around. And to top it off, it had the audacity to continue asking questions.

Lemme get this straight. . . First you're asking me if I have anything to do with some sort of barrier, NOW you're asking where I work? Listen HERE you little shit. The man began to shape shift back into his human form and began walking over to Akira. I'm a WAITER AT A GODDAMN TEA HOUSE. Alvis pulled at his attire that was clearly the work uniform of such a profession. I bet you want to know where too, huh!? The man tossed a few buisness cards at the small girl as he continued to get in her face. RIGHT. FUCKIN. THERE. Feel free to stop by! JUST KNOW THAT I SURE AS HELL AINT LETTIN SOME SHIT EATING GRINNED BITCH IN THOUGH. At this point, he was just yelling in her face again. Was this really even a fight anymore? Got any more dumbass questions, kid? He simply looked down at the girl with an intense stare, mostly hidden by his shades that he wore.

Action: Mean words

[Akira Nakajima]

Well, that was certainly unexpected. The Shadow reverted to it- his?- human shape. Well, that was. . . interesting, really. Like, all on its own. This guy really reminded him of Gin. He snatched one of the lobbed cards and gazed at it before pocketing it. Really, this Shadow was amazing. He had the audacity to take his rage out on a stranger, yet was also so polite- though stupid- as to give away his place of work. Well, he himself wouldn't visit, but he was sure that showing Alisa would get some interesting results. That said, the boy was mostly tuning out the angry rant that was directed at him. He'd heard better, more intelligent things from others in the past. He was, however, very tempted to correct the blondie on one point.

And by “very tempted”, the writer means “he was about to correct this guy”.

”No, thank you. I'm pleased to have this new information. Really, I'm grateful.” And he honestly meant it, smiling pleasant. Then the smile faded. ”But, I do feel that I should point one minor thing out. Unfortunately, I don't eat shit. If it has to be done, it'll be my partner that performs the act.” He regained that cocky smile from before, gazing up at the man, meeting his visored (sunglassed?) gaze. ”So, partner, ready to eat shit and die?”

Action: Rise to the Challenge
Notes: Heat Riser x3

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1-3, and Alvis Punch is an Alvis Fail.
1-5