Staring Down Death (Luka)

[Akira Nakajima]

To say that carrying around a girl on one's back for an extended distance was difficult was putting it lightly. His legs hurt. His back hurt. His head throbbed. He was tired. Even after depositing the girl on what seemed to be her bed, he ached. He was dirty. He was not about to wash Luka, despite the dust that was on her. He was a decent pervert, mind you! However, he was going to help himself to her shower. He carried her back. He had earned that much, he was sure.

Fast forward some twenty minutes, the shower-fresh boy strolled back to the girl's sleeping form with a damp rag. He wouldn't bathe her. He could at least rub her face and hair down a bit, though. Good thing the girl was out cold, though. He had slipped his clothes back on, but the blouse wasn't buttoned up. More than that, his jacket was hanging on a table. The girl was missing a show that some people would have fought over. Not that the boy was thinking about that. Once he was satisfied with the cleanliness of her face, he backed away. She was breathing. She seemed fine for the time being. Nodding to himself, he strolled on back out of the room.

He'd have to linger long enough to make sure she regained consciousness. He deposited her part of the mission reward in her refrigerator. He'd have put it in the freezer, but it might have gotten stuck. He was setting himself up for a joke. Humor was serious business, even when joking. There was no telling when she'd wake up, but she would likely need some food. He knew he needed some. Tying his hair back in a ponytail, the boy buttoned up his blouse. Despite the lack of preparation that was normally in place, he could have easily passed for a girl, even from a frontal view. The glory of a proper diet was evident in that one.

He checked her fridge again. There were eggs. Eggs had protein, tasted good even when cold, and were easy to eat. A sufficient supplement to any lack of energy, he was sure. So, taking the liberty to scramble some eggs, the boy prepared the small “meal”. While doing all that, he noticed the apartment was very. . . lacking. It was a home for one, and that one did not seem to expect or want guests. It went to further some of his suspicions after reading her files, but that was an issue for another day, he hoped. Eggs done, the boy got a plate and set some aside from his unconscious host. His own eggs? He ate that with his fingers. He couldn't be bothered to deal with formality. Not when there was a sink nearby to wash his hands.

Stomach filled and skillet washed, the boy made a call. How his phone still worked despite all the battering he took was a wonder in and of itself. People could drop a smart phone, and that thing was bricked. Yet, this flip-phone was like a comrade in battle. He could trust in it to stay together. It was a product of love and pride. Unlike that new age shit. Informing the family to the general bits of the situation, he nipped any problematic issues in the bud. He then looked for the girl's manga collection. She did say she would buy “more”, after all. Finding volume one of something, he leaned against the wall, beginning to read. Every now and then, his eyes flickered to the girl's sleeping form and confirmed breathing.

And so he went from volume to volume, awaiting sleeping beauty's eventual return to the realm of the waking.

[Luka Kurokawa]

Time seemed to speed up quite a bit. Uncomfortability slipped away into rejuvenation. Fears began to sleep away. Losing consciousness tends to do that, after all. It was very late at night in Luka's apartment. It was dead quiet aside from the occasional turning of a page that could be heard nearby. The bed felt exceptionally nice tonight for some reason, but Luka couldn't quite put her finger on it yet. After all, she wasn't even conscious yet. Right about now, her eyelids would begin to flicker a bit and her eyes would begin to adjust to the darkness. Blinking a few times, Luka moved her head around the room a bit, trying to get a good idea of where she was. When it was obvious that she was in her room, she stretched slightly with a tired sigh. Raising herself slightly, the girl finally noticed the other presence nearby.

Rubbing her eyes, she looked at the book who seemed to be reading something. Akira? What was Akira doing here again? Actually, what was she doing here. Thinking back, the last thing she remembered was looking down the corridor to the side in the mine. No, a little after that. Ouch. Memories of the pain she received from that attack resurfaced. She must have been knocked out after that. But what was she doing here now? Luckily, the one person who would likely know the whole story was right next to her in this very room. What happened? And for that matter, how did we get back here now? There was clearly a large gap in the story that she was missing. A gap that Akira likely had all the answers to. Gazing out the window again, she just began to realize how late it was. Just how long was I out? She was starting to get a bit worried as to how this situation came to be and what the consequences of it were.

[Akira Nakajima]

Finally, the boy detected movement- not the shifting of a chest expanding due to air, but actual movement. Luka's head shifted, then she slowly raised her body. He slowly closed the volume of manga. The turn of events was good- that particular plot bored him, but there was little else to do. He had already swapped series once. Doing so a second time would have been annoying. He smiled slightly, then waved at the girl as the questions came. He remained silent for a moment, stepping back to the manga selection and planting the volume back in its original place.

”Good morning to you, too.” Came a light, jocular comment. It stood in stark contrast to the actual time of day, as it was still late- or perhaps early, if one were to get technical. ”We were ambushed. A Shadow used what I believe was a light attack, which put you out. I carried you. You were out for probably eight or nine hours. You were breathing, so I figured it'd be fine to just let you rest.” That was a solid response to all the major issues that had been brought up. ”Do you feel like you can eat? Rather, do you have an appetite? I figured you'd need some energy after waking, so I prepared some eggs. Can reheat them, if you're the sort that has to have hot food.” He shrugged, more expecting a cold or hot response than anything else. He kept his eyes on her, though. He wanted to be sure the attack didn't mess her up any more than she was naturally.

Which was pretty messed up.

[Luka Kurokawa]

The first thing Akira said caught Luka off guard. Morning? Just how long had she been out? Of course, she was about to be filled in on the details regardless. As she listened to the boy, Luka began to recall the events that she was awake for as he explained them. She had been knocked over and finished off with a light attack. Utterly useless in the fight, it would have seemed. Akira must have finished them all off. But something really got to Luka that Akira had said. You carried me out? All the way here? Her words were tinged with a bit of disbelief and a little bit of worry. The enemies that the two of them were ambushed by were clearly very strong. And yet, Akira did all that for her. Her first instinct was to apologize, but quickly disregarded that option. This wasn't something that was forgivable.

You should have left me and ran.

Finally sitting up, Luka simply looked down at the floor; her eyes squinted in annoyance. She wasn't worth saving in that battle. Not when your own life gets put on the line. Not when you end up having to suddenly carry dead weight across the city so that they can sleep. Luka wasn't worthy of that kind of treatment. And then her fists clenched when the boy mentioned making her some food, even offering to reheat it.

You even made me food, now?

Why was he being so kind? So forgiving? Luka had let him down in a critical moment. She knew her only purpose was to assist in solving the mystery of the circle. Other than that, she was completely disposable. Yet, Akira was wasting his time doing such things. You know. . . A serious tone came out of Luka. A bit louder than her usual straightforward voice. It was slightly strained, as if there was still doubt behind her words. But it was too serious for normal Luka. None of this was really necessary. You didn't need to save me. You have no reason to.

You waited for me to wake up, possibly inconveniencing yourself.

She looked up at him with a flat expression. It may have just because she had just woken up, but she didn't feel well. A slight burning sensation in her stomach. She couldn't help it of course. Though she respected Akira greatly, his actions were plainly put, outrageous and stupid. And then she felt the side of her face for a moment, trying to confirm something.

You even went as far as to wash my face for me.

The feeling in her chest continued to build. She didn't like one bit of what she was hearing.

[Akira Nakajima]

Despite the fact that it was late at night, or early in the morning- semantics, really- the boy did not show any signs of being fatigued. He was far too experienced with late-night working binges to make such a beginner's mistake. The girl spoke. Her words were something that did not need to originate from a normal girl's mouth. Unfortunately, Luka was not a normal girl, and he knew this, both from experience and from a bit of mandatory sleuthing. He hadn't thought that these issues would come up to bother him yet. Then again, the situation was still in its base stages. Perhaps he could diffuse the social bomb he was treading over without crossing that bridge? That'd be preferable.

”You're correct.” He calmly countered the girl's words. ”It was not necessary to save you. Leaving you to die would not have caused me to share the same fate. Not immediately, at least.” He was still smiling, but it wasn't the friendly smile he showed to others in the Shadow-infested lands. It was the business smile of the Student Council President. ”Unfortunately for your argument, however, I have reasons to save you. Time and time again, if I had to, I would attempt to save you. And my reasons justify my actions.” Slowly, the youth tilted his head to the side, strands of hair filtering across his face.

”Now, cold or hot eggs? Or will we continue this?”

[Luka Kurokawa]

The boy responded affirmatively. He knew well that he had put himself at risk when saving her. Not many people would do such a thing without thinking it over a bit, to be fair. The smile he gave her only fueled her bad feeling. She didn't like it. She simply continued to stare at him as he spoke. Her expression wasn't friendly, to say the least. Not that it was hostile either, of course. But it was clear that she wasn't accepting his words.

He said that he had reasons. Reasons good enough that he would continue to save her as many times as needed. Again, the feeling in her stomach began to intensify. Why was he so intent on helping her? She was not worth the effort. Within her subconscious, she had a bad feeling about letting him continue such thoughts. It was dangerous for him. It was dangerous for anyone. It wasn't his fault, of course. He probably didn't know what she really was. If perhaps he continued to protect her in such a way, it would happen again. No. She knew for a fact that it would happen again if she allowed things to progress like this. The way things were progressing between the two of them. . . she needed to stop it.

Nearly cutting off the boy's question regarding the eggs, Luka got up from her bed and spoke. And just what are those reasons exactly? A pained, but straight voice. With every sentence the girl spoke, she seemed to get a little bit more choked up. She slowly began to walk up to the boy. You don't even know who I am. Finally, she stopped inches from him. She was looking a bit down at him, since he was just a tad shorter. If you did, you would know that I'm not worth saving. Her words became more grim in tone as they were spoken. Her eyes were red. It could have been from just waking up, but still. She didn't want to raise her voice, but she felt the need too. It was only slightly raised, of course. Nothing too drastic. But enough that she was legitimately trying to get the boy to back down. It was truly ironic. The broken girl without any self-esteem was trying to get the leader-like council president to back down.

[Akira Nakajima]

Nope. No eggs. Seemed his fears were pretty much spot on. The crap was about to impact the rotating oscillator. Just, seriously? He was supposed to be the one confronting her about it if she didn't improve. Not the other way around. Not that way at all. The girl approached. The boy crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. Then, he sighed. His smile faded. He stared up at the girl. His eyes were apathetic. His expression was dull. Seldom did people get to see the boy like that. If she had been awake earlier, that would have been two things she saw that others typically never had the chance.

”Firstly, you damn well better eat those eggs after we're done here.” With that out of the way, he stared at her, unblinking. ”Now, lets see here. Reasons. Ah, here we go. For starters, you're my Vice-President. Getting capable fillers for my council is proving to be difficult. Losing one of the only members I already have would be a blow to the council, and, therefore, to the overall student body. Next, you've proven to be a valuable asset outside of the office. By this, I mean you're a Persona-user, and you've proven yourself trustworthy. Going further, you've seen the scale that some of these battles can become. You were useful in the battle against the train. No, if you were not there, I'd likely have had to retreat. Against the Grim Squeaker, you supported the collective efforts by buffing us, then you took out the midgets he called in to hamper our attack efforts. If you die, then there's a possibility that I, or others, will die in the future because you were not there to fulfill a role.” He blinked once.

”Now, I'll focus on personal reasons for helping you. For starters, you're a student at the school. As the Student Council President, I consider myself responsible for providing a proper learning environment and a chance to safely progress forward into adulthood- whether this leads to college, the workforce, or even delinquency is entirely up to the individual, but I refuse to let them get themselves killed. Another personal reason would be my motto. I lead by example. If I left you there to die, what kind of example would I have been setting? A weak one. One that I would never permit myself to leave for others- regardless of whether or not anyone was there to see it.” A second blink.

”Finally, you said I don't know who you are. Allow me to contest this, as well. Name: Kurokawa Rukako. Eighteen years of age, born on the sixth of July. Female, obviously. Nationality is Japanese, obviously.” He paused for a third blink. His gaze never wavered. He was only just beginning. ”At age five, a fire burned down your home. Your parents and two siblings perished in the flames. Moved in with your aunt and uncle at that point. At age eight, you were in a wreck. You escaped from the vehicle, but the couple, as well as your cousin, were not that fortunate. For some reason or another, law officials thought your were responsible for these actions and brought you in for questioning. You were then relocated to an orphanage. At age fourteen, you left for Mosaic. Reports from the teachers have a general consensus that you're a fine student. Quiet. Studious. All that.” He blinked for a fourth time.

”There's plenty I can logicize in regards to other details, but I'll leave it at that for the moment. Do you wish to proceed with this discussion, or no?” A fifth blink. Aside from a raised eyebrow as he cocked his head to the side slightly, his expression was otherwise blank. There was a number of ways this could turn out. He could only hope he steered it down the path that would lead to a mutually beneficial result.

[Luka Kurokawa]

Luka was purposely trying to intimidate the boy. It was why she raised her voice at him. It was why she moved in so close to him to look down at him. It was why she feigned annoyance at him. But it was quite obvious that such tactics weren't working on him. It was futile from the get-go. Regardless, the girl held her ground. Enough so that he hopefully wouldn't see through her. Then the first attack on her began.

The boy's words were effective in her retreat. Her at first annoyed face, was now less annoyed and more doubtful. She was thinking over his words in her mind, yet at the same time she was fighting them with her own preconceived notions. Her eyes were a battlefield for what to believe in. His words had logic behind them, sure. She had effectively helped people throughout her explorations as a persona-user. But her conflicting beliefs had quite the streak of being labeled true. Her past was filled with evidence that supported it. Even with her doubtful eyes, she tried to keep the appearance of being angry with him.

Luka was not prepared for what was to follow though. As if straight out of a book, Akira began to recite a large amount of information. But what was so shocking was the contents of the recital. Her eyes widened as the boy had begun to stray away from her base information and into her history. A single step back. Was this really happening? Why did he know all of this? And on top of all of this, he still chose to protect her? She wasn't sure what to feel at that point.

But when the boy had the audacity to ask if he should continue the discussion, Luka finally snapped. She clenched her teeth. Raising her right hand, she swung at the boy's face, slapping him. Then for a moment, she only stared at him in anger, letting the tears roll down. Get out. She made it fairly clear about what she had said. Get out! She screamed, as if out of desperation at him. It was the only way she could get him to leave. She lowered her head out of sight where the tears continued to stream. Never talk to me again, either. The last sentence was purely defeatist in tone. There was no anger; only pain.

[Akira Nakajima]

Frankly, Akira was not too surprised about the attack. His cheek throbbed slightly. It'd probably bruise. Well, nothing a Mediarama couldn't fix later, he was sure. Despite the attack, despite the words, the boy did not move. He continued to lean against the wall, arms crossed. He straightened his neck. His eyes focused on her hair- couldn't exactly stare at her face without doing something odd. He was, frankly, too lazy to do anything unnecessary. He had one objective right now. That was rectifying the socially-broken girl he had accepted as his Vice-President. He finally sighed, but it was not out of submission. He sighed because he really hadn't wanted to get this serious this quickly.

Oh well, he kinda already fired a nuke.

”Unfortunately, that's not an option. As I said before, losing a member of my council would be a blow to the student body. Besides, I already promised you that I'd make you shine. You might've thought that just meant as a hero, but, sadly, I meant overall. I'll make you shine as a human, too. I'm not a quack. Quacks are crazy, frankly. But I've played enough thought-provoking games and read enough stories that I'm going to do that logicizing thing I just mentioned. Bear with me for a moment.” The boy reached up to push up his glasses. Then he realized he hadn't had them on in the first place. Damn. He was getting used to wearing them again. That was embarrassing.

”Twice you've lost your family, being the sole survivor. This likely led to survivor's guilt. If not directly, then the police questioning you while you were still emotionally vulnerable probably lent a hand. Now, with the police being jerkasses, and with our country being largely superstitious over shit like the number four, I'm willing to guess that you were further harassed at the orphanage by the children. At least, I hope it was just the kids- which, yeah, bad either way, but if the adults did it, then that's worse. This likely caused you to consciously believe that there was some credence to these events being your fault.” While going on, even with a straight (and half-red) face, the boy maintained an almost conversational tone.

”Now, if you believe yourself to be responsible, this would explain why pretty much all the teacher's reports mention you being quiet and studious- generally keeping to yourself. On top of that, you lack self-esteem and common sense, which supplement my argument on two fronts. Now, going by the fight earlier, it seems you're weak to light. I know you can use darkness, however. This may be an assumption, but I'll claim that you resist darkness- aligned with darkness, weak to light. Simple enough, due to the RPG standards, to at least guess. Light and darkness are symbolic. If I apply it to your case, light can symbolize truth, or a means of revealing the truth. Darkness symbolizes obscurity, lies, or just the absence of truth. You're clinging to the conscious concept that you're responsible for the loss of life in your past. However, subconsciously, you doubt this and accept that there's a chance that it was just that- chance. An unfortunate coincidence.” He paused to take a breath. He felt that Freud and Nietzsche could suck him one day, since that was accomplished entirely from plot devices.

”Your resistance to darkness would be your acceptance of the lies, your accepting yourself as the one responsible. Your weakness to light would be your fear of accepting that there is a chance that you're wrong, and that it was just. . . misfortune.” There were two ways that would end: Great success or great failure. There was no middle ground. And he really did not want a failure. ”If you're going to hit me, please refrain from the face this time.” Of course, he awaited a blow to the face. Asking for something else would just get him exactly what he didn't want.

Oh well.

[Luka Kurokawa]

When the began to speak again, it had become evident that her plan had failed. She couldn't shake him off despite all of her protests whether it be mental, physical or verbal. She had nothing left to throw at him. Instead, she remained there; looking at the ground. She had nothing left to do but simply listen to what he said. She was in a state of shock, really. She had just woken up, finding out that she did what she believed to be the worse possible thing. And following a painful revolt to end the problem, her past was presented to her in the worst possible way. So when the boy's words were going through her mind, she really couldn't process much of it.

His analysis was scary though. It was scary enough that she didn't have to be thinking properly to realize it as such. It was as if the boy was able to read her mind over her entire life in a matter of seconds and simply summarize it in a nonchalant conversation insertion. What made it the worst was that he assumed things. Whether or not the things he assumed were true or not was not Luka's call though. She couldn't articulate enough thought to make such judgments.

Instead, she simply stood in front of him faced down. Light sobs that she tried to contain could still be heard. When he had finished speaking, Luka decided to give an answer. It began with a simply shake of the head. I have no reason to hit you now. It won't get you to stay away as it would seem. She had lost this battle. There was no way she could compete like this. Talking her way away from him wasn't going to work. Slowly, the girl began to walk out of the room and towards the front door. If you do not wish to leave, so be it. I will. Finally, she opened the door slowly bringing it around herself. I'll give you one gift, as to not inconvenience yourself further. Save yourself the trouble of waiting in my house. With Akira still sight of the door, Luka slowly turned back. I won't be coming back. And with a serious expression, the door closed. Her blue scarf that she seemed to love so much could be found at the foot of the door. But Luka herself had seemed to vanish.

[Akira Nakajima]

Well, he wasn't going to be punched. That was a plus. The negative was the girl's reaction to him. She left the room, and he followed her. Yeah, he was not liking where she was going with that topic. Aaaand she left. Well shit. It didn't take a genius to understand how that situation was about to play out. If it were a normal girl, they'd likely return in a bit, grumbly and annoyed to find him still there. If it were this girl, this girl with no degree of common sense, this girl with more problems than he had fingers, there was little doubt that she would go through with it like the idiot she was.

Fortunately, Akira was pretty good at preparing things on short notice. He needed his glasses, jacket, evoker, scissors, the eggs, and that scarf. In a matter of twenty seconds, everything had been organized and he was kicking out of the door. Seriously, what the hell did he get himself into? Why was he dealing with the final boss first out of all the routes? Hell, why was he on her route at all? Shit was way too ridiculous. Frankly, there was only one thing he could conclude with to this situation.

”Gettin' real sick of your shit, Murphy!” He called out to the maker and the law simultaneously as he charged away, looking for signs of Luka.