Reaching Out [Holly]

[Jaelyn Callahan]

Despite everything going on, today had been a fairly ordinary day. Classes had been boring, but when weren't they? Jaelyn felt like shit, but when didn't she? ...Okay, she didn't feel like shit when she was with Sakuya, but that was part of the problem. Despite the advice she had gotten at the shrine, she couldn't bring herself to see Sakuya. Not after what she'd seen there. Jaelyn still didn't fully know what Sakuya's intentions were. Everything pointed to the fact that she genuinely cared for her, but no amount of caring changed the fact that Jaelyn was a human and Sakuya was a shadow. Even if they could overcome those boundaries, it still left Jaelyn feeling like a potential enemy of just about everyone. Sakuya probably felt the same way.

And that was the source of Jaelyn's unwillingness to see her. What if Sakuya would like her more, or feel more comfortable, if Jaelyn was a shadow as well? That was something Jaelyn wouldn't be able to accept. That girl, 'Holly', apparently, had said that the shadow that took Vice's form had killed him. And Sakuya had said the same. She killed her human half. If the same thing happened to Jaelyn, what remained wouldn't be the same person. And what would it represent? Most likely, everything she forced herself to hold back day to day.

It would be just like her mother. No, maybe even worse.

She groaned, leaning back on the bench where she'd sat down after classes finished. It had been two weeks since then, and things hadn't gotten any better. She hadn't had any more freakouts, and her journeys into the shadowlands went the same as they always had. But she still felt like shit. No, worse than shit. She was constantly worried about what might happen in the future. Whether everyone might decide she was an enemy, or whether her shadow would appear to kill her, or whether she'd just get killed by some random no-name shadow because she was so preoccupied. Perhaps because it was so foreign to her now, but it had taken her this long to realize that she was scared.

She pulled out her phone. That alone managed to help her settle down a bit. After all, it was a sign of how far she'd come, that she had been able to afford something like this. But that wasn't why she did it. She needed to vent. She still wasn't ready to talk to Sakuya yet, though. And while she'd added Luka's number in as well, she already knew how well that would go. Setsuna, maybe? ...No, she wasn't going to dump this on Setsuna. That would just crush any reliability she had in the girl's eyes, and make her feel even worse. There was one more name on her list though. It took a moment for her to remember how it had gotten there.

Holly.

"Worth a shot," Jaelyn said, selecting it and calling. Holly had managed to shake her out of her freakout that night, so maybe she could help now. Jaelyn just had to hope that she'd pick up.

[Holly Mason]

Holly's life had actually been going pretty well since her persona awakened again.  She started sleeping better, she wasn't worried about adventuring in the shadowlands anymore, hurting shadows didn't bother her as much anymore, her  mind felt clearer which let her work towards some of her other goals more easily, and her plans to enhance school freedom were starting to bud again, even if it that part was moving very slowly.  Her life was slowly returning to what she could consider normal, as normal as her life could be with the circumstances that she found herself in.  While she decided to come to school today, she had been coming around less frequently (not every day) like she had been for the couple of weeks before her second awakening.  Still, despite that, even most of her teachers had a hard time arguing that she wasn't doing better.

Shortly after classes ended, Holly felt her phone vibrate in her pocket.  Even if she refused to turn it off during school hours she still had the decency to keep it quiet.  She pulled the phone out of her pocket and examined the number.  It wasn't one she recognized, but she had given her number to a lot of people recently.  She avoided it in the past because she didn't want people to get too clingy, but now she didn't mind the idea so much.  There wasn't any reason to ignore this call at this point, it's not like she had plans after school today.  Without a moment's hesitation, she lifted the phone to her ear and answered the call.

"Hello?"

[Jaelyn Callahan]

For a second, Jaelyn froze up as she heard the voice on the other end. In a sudden moment of surprise, the voice was unfamiliar to her. It had to be Holly, right? But for whatever reason, her mind wasn't quite connecting the voice on the other end with the person who had given her the number. "Hello? Holly, right?" Jaelyn asked hesitantly.

Talking on the phone, she realized, was much more difficult than she had ever imagined it to be. All of a sudden she had come to the conclusion that not having a cell phone for most of her life until this point had not been so bad as she'd made it out to be. It was an easy excuse to talk in situations where she was either not obligated to give a shit, or where the other person would already have a poor impression of her and she could safely not give a shit anyway. This...this was just awkward. But since she'd made the damned call in the first place, she had to at least try to follow through with it. "This is Jaelyn. You gave me your number back at the shrine. After the last battle, when...well, when I completely freaked out. Do you have a moment?"