It's The Fear [Awakenings/Sakuya+Setsuna]

[Jaelyn Callahan]

It had been another ordinary day, as far as ordinary days went lately. Jaelyn had followed Sakuya out to her Shadowlands villa and spent the last night out there, but now they were getting ready to head back. The ruins of what had once been part of the city were as dreary as ever, and even Sakuya's place looked no different than the rest of it from the outside. Only the beautiful woman next to her was doing any favors for Jaelyn's mood at the moment. All of her usual worries seemed like things of the past. She'd gotten over her freakout from the shrine battle ever since learning (more like stopped being stupid and hiding from the fact) that she still had Sakuya's support. She wasn't all that scared about losing people at the moment, nor was she terribly worried about losing herself. She had no reason to feel inadequate, since she could probably match even Luka for raw power now. So what was this bad feeling?

A question nagged at her. One she never thought she'd actually, seriously ask, since there was always something else in her way first. But now, it was bothering her almost non-stop. "Hey," she asked, turning to Sakuya. "So, you know how I've always felt like I needed to keep getting stronger and how I wasn't matching up to everyone else, right? Well, now I am, but it feels like that's still not enough. I have nothing tangible to reach for anymore, and can lay waste to almost anything I put my mind to out here, but I'm still constantly feeling like I need more power. Why is that?"

[Sakuya Kyoudou]

Sakuya had taken care of Jaelyn for the night, and eventually now they decided to go and head back. As it seemed, Sakuya was reasonably pleased with how everything had been turning out. Eventually, though, Jaelyn turned to Sakuya and began to ask a question. As it turned out, while she became somewhat more comfortable with her current situation and status, she still found herself wanting more power. Why, she asked, why. Sakuya pensively rubbed her chin and looked down for a moment, before facing Jaelyn. "If you ask me, honey, I think it's perhaps an important part of your personality. That drive for freedom, the capability to do what you want, to get what you want, and to take what you want. You have the power to match up to others, sure, but to you, that's secretly not enough. You desire more," Sakuya said, with a straight face. She hoped she wasn't stepping on Jaelyn's toes, but this is what she could feel, this is what she could see inside Jaelyn's head.

"I hope I don't offend you or anything, but that's my hypothesis, and I'd rather answer you as honestly as I can rather than lie, there's no reason for me to lie to someone I love and care for so much."

[Jaelyn Callahan]

Sakuya's response was one that, honestly, Jaelyn was expecting. It didn't help, but she'd be lying if she said she didn't see it coming. Just a part of who she was, huh? That was all well and good, but it didn't actually stop it from bugging her. What did she do with that drive? Where did it lead? And why couldn't she be satisfied? She had almost everything she thought she wanted. A loving, absolutely devoted girlfriend. A comfortable life. The freedom to do whatever the fuck she wanted because really, who was going to stop her anymore? And enough of a conscience left over that she'd managed to escape the horrible fate of becoming the same as her psychopathic mother. It was only now that she had all of that that this lust for power was starting to bother her. If she still wasn't satisfied, then did anything she'd gained up until now have any meaning?

It had to. It had to, or else she really was back to having nothing. If none of it mattered, why have it at all?

As Jaelyn thought about this, Sakuya continued, indirectly apologizing for saying something like that. "It's fine, don't worry about that," Jaelyn said, leaning up against Sakuya. "I'm sorry for springing something like that on you. It's just been bothering me recently. Let's just head back." The nagging voice in her head asked why bring that up at all, if she was just going to dismiss it the moment she had an answer. And really, she didn't have a good answer for that, except that now that she'd heard Sakuya's opinion and her runaway thoughts had taken over, she suddenly didn't want to think about it anymore.

[Setsuna Hanamori]

By sheer chance, Setsuna happened to be in the same area as Jaelyn and Sakuya, having just finished a bit of training. With each trip she made out here, she seemed to grow more and more powerful. If she was to be of any use in the upcoming battles that always seem to take place on a full moon, she would have to. She hated how useless she felt in those last two battles, so she was determined to better herself and show that she wasn't just some random girl who stumbled blindly into this whole mess. Granted, that's pretty much exactly what she was, but she didn't want that to be the only thing she had going for her. She needed to catch up, no matter what.

As she prepared to head home, she noticed Jaelyn out of the corner of her eye. It was no secret to anyone that Setsuna had a rather huge crush on her, as evidenced by how red her face turned the mere moment she saw her. Regardless, Setsuna approached her. "H-hey, Jaelyn...I...um...I didn't know you were out...here...?" It was in that moment that she realized that Jaelyn was with another person; a rather attractive woman, to be precise. "Oh...sorry. I didn't see you there." Well. This was nice and awkward. But, more than that, Setsuna had a sinking feeling that she wasn't going to like where this was going.

[Sakuya Kyoudou]

As Sakuya and Jaelyn were walking along, and the latter expressed her minor regrets on bringing it up, she quickly said that they should just head back. Sakuya had wrapped an arm around Jaelyn protectively, getting the feeling that the girl probably didn't want to dwell on those negative feelings anymore. It was then and there that an unfamiliar girl (at least, to Sakuya, she was unfamiliar) began to approach Jaelyn, greeting her rather timidly. It became immediately apparent to Sakuya, the wily Shadow she was, that this girl obviously had some sort of feelings for Jaelyn. A crush, or something more, to be sure. Then again, the stranger's face was bright red, so anybody could have come to that conclusion.

Sakuya nodded, her arm still around Jaelyn, as the girl apologized saying 'I didn't see you there.'

"Well, that's quite alright," Sakuya said calmly. "So, Jaelyn, I guess she's one of your secret admirers? May I grab her name?" The tone in Sakuya's voice, as calm as it was, hid a tinge of legitimate worry and fear. Well, of course, Sakuya would try to play it cool, but she didn't want anything potentially jeopardizing her relationship with Jaelyn.

[Jaelyn Callahan]

Oh...shit. This was all kinds of not good. Jaelyn had hoped to get a chance to explain things to Setsuna before something like this happened. She wanted to discourage the girl away from crushing on her before the inevitable heartbreak came. She didn't want to hurt the girl, which was completely uncharacteristic of Jaelyn, but she'd taken it as a sign that she was starting to get better. That maybe she could undo the damage before it all hit at once.

But no, here Setsuna was, just happening on Jaelyn and Sakuya. Now she was stuck. There was no 'gentle' or 'easy' way to get through this. The best she could do was to focus on the positives of her relationship with Sakuya and try to cut out everything that was impossible. Only, there was nothing positive about it. No matter how Jaelyn tried to spin it, there was no way to avoid the point that she'd been using Setsuna's trust and dependence for her own satisfaction.

"That's...no, well," Shit, that wasn't good at all. She focused on Sakuya first. There was plenty of danger of bad things coming from misinterpretation there too. "Okay, admirer, yes, but it's pretty one-sided. I've been hoping to discourage it for awhile, but could never really put the words to it." That probably wasn't helping. She turned back to Setsuna. "I'm sorry. I.." she started. But, fucking typical, the words still weren't there.

[Setsuna Hanamori]

It didn't take Setsuna very long to put two and two together and realize that Sakuya must be Jaelyn's girlfriend. Hearing Sakuya call her an admirer caused her to flinch; it really was pretty obvious, wasn't it? Setsuna must have been stupid to think she was doing anywhere near a good job of hiding it. When Sakuya asked for her name, Setsuna responded, if only out of reflex "I-it's Setsuna...ma'am..." Ugh. She just wanted this moment to end so she could go back home and crawl into her bed for the nest several weeks without ever leaving. However, nothing could have prepared her for what Jaelyn said to Sakuya in response her question about Setsuna being an admirer of Jaelyn's.

Each word hit Setsuna like a ton of bricks. Setsuna knew, deep down, that this was probably the case. She knew that the chances of Jaelyn returning her feelings were pretty slim. And yet, she went and fell in love with her anyway. She swore up and down that she wouldn't, but she did. And this was exactly why she didn't want to. She just knew that she would get heart broken. Setsuna was obviously fighting back tears by the time she responded, but doing a surprisingly good job of it. "Y-you guys have the wrong idea...i-it's nothing like that...I just..." Try as she might, she couldn't come up with anything to say, making the desperate a attempt to play the whole thing off like she wasn't bothered by any of it all the more obvious.

Eventually, she just gave up "...I should...I need to go home...I'm...I'm sorry for bothering the two of you..." Thus, without thinking, she ran off. Never mind that she went in the complete opposite direction she claimed she was going in. She just needed to be away from them. Either way, despite her rather poor attempt to play it off like she was fine, it was painfully obvious that she wasn't. She knew this day would probably come eventually; she just hadn't anticipated how devastating it would be.

[Sakuya Kyoudou]

Sakuya nodded calmly as Setsuna introduced herself. Meanwhile, Jaelyn focused on Sakuya and tried to explain the situation. This made Sakuya rather curious about the circumstances of their meeting, because up until now Jaelyn never told Sakuya anything about Setsuna. "Okay ladies--" Sakuya was about to interject when Setsuna said that they had the wrong idea. She tried desperately to explain herself but it seemed that the harder she tried, the worse it ended up becoming. At some point, she must have given up as Setsuna soon follwed it up with needing to go home. She turned around and quickly began to run away, which made Sakuya sigh and scratch her head.

Sakuya soon turned to Jaelyn. "...I don't really know what your relationship with that young girl is, but she's pretty obviously lying. I think it's your deal, though, not mine, so uh... I think maybe you should go see her. I'll be fine. Don't worry about me." Sakuya sighed as she turned her gaze away, facing the path that Setsuna was running on. She had a distant look on her face, wondering just what the hell was going on, and how she had landed in this situation without ever seeing it coming, when it should have been obvious that she wasn't the only one pining for Jaelyn.

Of course, the major difference is that Sakuya had succeeded in winning her heart, or so she thought.

[Jaelyn Callahan]

Shit. Shit shit shit shit fucking shit. Of all the bad things to happen. Who would have thought trying to ignore the painfully obvious crush would come back to bite her in such a way. The next thing Jaelyn knew, after an utterly failed attempt to deny what anyone could tell without her even opening her mouth, Setsuna was running off. And that was when the sheer abject bad of the situation finally set in. Because rather than 'going home', Setsuna had just run off deeper into the ruins.

Jaelyn gave a pained sigh as she watched. Sakuya's response to what had just happened didn't help things at all. Maybe she was imagining it. Maybe not. But to Jaelyn, it sounded like Sakuya was doubting her. No, not now. The last thing Jaelyn needed after fucking up this badly was for Sakuya to think she was being unfaithful or anything like that. "Yeah...this is entirely my fault. It was obvious she was attracted to me right from the start. I might have subtly encouraged it at first, that was before I even met you, but after that I just kind of...let it go. I didn't think it would actually hurt anything. I wanted to be depended on by someone, rather than being the new blood weakling struggling to catch up, but I ended up going too far with it. Fuck, I really am still a terrible person, aren't I?"

Of course, all the while that Jaelyn was trying to explain herself, Setsuna was just getting farther away. She'd already gotten out of sight. "Shit. Yeah, I'm going." Setsuna was going to get herself killed at this rate. Jaelyn could only hope that there was still time to fix something.

[Setsuna Hanamori]

Setsuna had already gotten fairly far when Jaelyn decided to chase after her, though she slowed down once she was sure she was far enough away from Jaelyn and Sakuya. However, once Jaelyn finally caught up for her, she'd be in for quite a sight; Setsuna frozen in place, with a look of fear and disbelief on her face, and a tall, rather attractive woman, who appeared to be the same nationality as Setsuna. She looked to be in her early 20s, and wore an outfit that was rather flattering to her well-developed figure. Speaking in a calm and soothing voice, she approached the girl "Setsuna, it's been too long. I've really missed you~!" Practically shaking, Setsuna yelled at her "Why are you here?! Haven't you ruined my life enough?!" 

The woman frowned, but quickly re-gained her smile "Come now...is that any way to treat an old friend~? I've come a long way to fi-" Before she could finish, Setsuna interrupted her "You are not my friend! Not after what you put me through!" The woman, obviously feigning being hurt by those words, moved in closer to the girl. She placed a hand on Setsuna's cheek, which sparked an extremely mixed reaction from her. On one hand, she hated this woman for what she did to her, and what happened to her after the fact. On the other hand, even with everything she went through, there was a part of Setsuna that deeply missed her. Now, more than ever, those two sides of her were at war with each other, and it left her lost and completely unsure of what to do.

"Are you still upset about that? I know what I did was wrong, but I never meant for you to get hurt. It was all just a joke that went too far. Besides, it was you classmates who bullied you, not me~! So, please forgive me?" The woman moved leaned in to give Setsuna, stopping just before their lips met. Clearly, she wanted Setsuna to meet her the rest of the way, and for a moment, she considered it. Instead, she pushed the woman away "N-no! I-I'll never forgive you! P-please...j-just leave me alone! Find some other girl to toy with!" The woman gave a sinister smirk, partially dropping her kind and gentle facade. "We both know you enjoyed it when I "toyed" with you~" Setsuna flinched...as much as she wanted to, she couldn't deny what she said.

[Jaelyn Callahan]

Jaelyn cursed to herself the whole time she ran after Setsuna. This was exactly what she'd been trying to avoid the whole time since she left home. Well...no, it wasn't. She'd tried to avoid becoming a killer. She wasn't her mother. That was what she'd constantly told herself. And despite a few violent outbursts and burning her way through shadows like they were nothing but targets, she'd held true to that. She hadn't killed any humans. She hadn't killed any of the sentient shadows that were so human-like that it took her experience with Sakuya or them revealing themselves to tell the difference. She'd even managed to resist killing that dumbass Tristan, despite him trying her patience right up to its breaking point in the past. But was this any different? If Setsuna got herself killed by shadows because of what had just happened, who was responsible for that? And if she survived, what kind of state would she survive in?

"I have to fix this," Jaelyn said to herself, breaking her stream of internal swears. "If I don't, and I let someone die because of the shit I put them through, then..." She thought back to Luka's words. 'Expect no mercy' was it? Jaelyn figured that she could match her now. Maybe even beat her. But what would that prove? Hurt one. Make an enemy of another. All of a sudden, she was the enemy of the city she tried to avoid being. And then, she'd resort to murder to get out. In that case, was she really any better than a shadow? Or her mother?

This was her last chance to prove she wasn't that person. As unreasonable as it was, it was easy to attribute the bad feeling she'd had earlier to this. And yet, even now that she had something to put to it, it lingered, nagging at her and frustrating her. Everything had already gone horribly wrong, and yet there was this lingering thought, stabbing at the corner of her mind and suggesting that it was still going to get worse.

Finally, she managed to find Setsuna. Despite the distance they'd covered, it was still a straight path, so locating her was easy. Once she did, however, she froze in her tracks at the sight, then quickly made for a hiding place. The girl wasn't alone. A slightly older woman had approached her. 'Approached' in the sense of what her mother claimed she was known for. Rather than being bothered by the seductive display however, Jaelyn immediately started looking for any evidence of a weapon. If she was like her mother, she'd wield a knife like one of Jaelyn's own. A karambit, or maybe a balisong.

As she watched, Setsuna pushed the woman away, eliciting an unsettling smirk from the later. Warning bells went off in Jaelyn's mind, and she immediately reached for two of her own knives. Whatever this girl was, murderer, shadow, or just a predator who had a history with Setsuna, she gave off too much of a bad vibe for Jaelyn to leave it alone.

She stepped out into the open, not bothering to hide the knives she'd drawn. "Who is this, and why does she remind me of my mother?" Jaelyn asked.

[Sakuya Kyoudou]

Sakuya blinked as she calmly stood and watched Jaelyn chase after the girl named 'Setsuna.' Briefly, Sakuya wondered what the relationship between Jaelyn and that girl was. From what Jaelyn said it was highly unlikely that their relationship would be strained too much, which relieved Sakuya somewhat. On the other hand, Sakuya could tell that the girl she cared for so much, for all her desires for power, didn't want to let that power corrupt her. She still wanted to have a 'heart.' And that's why she didn't want to let go of Setsuna like that. Setsuna had strong feelings for the girl that were unrequited. Sakuya knew all about unrequited love. People acted irrationally when their unrequired love was obviously spurned. In a way, Sakuya almost felt bad for Setsuna. However, she didn't know her at all, so she had little reason to care aside from the fact she looked cute.

Sigh... I'll go see what the fuss is. Sakuya sighed and began hovering in the same direction Jaelyn and Setsuna were going. It had been some time before she arrived, given that she was slower and did not run, but once she found Setsuna and Jaelyn, Sakuya sighed. The sight was familiar. It brought back memories. Memories that pained Sakuya. The older woman, sultry and as attractive as she was, was clearly harassing Setsuna. Sakuya's face contorted and almost half-faded into her Shadow form as a flurry of red flags started going off in her mind. It was very similar to when she saw Jaelyn confront her own shadow. In fact, Jaelyn already had a knife drawn. The mere fact Setsuna seemed to be harassed by another woman instead of something else made Sakuya wonder about something.

In some ways, Sakuya was quite similar to Setsuna.

It was a relatable experience.

Sakuya's voice began to waver and become more Shadow-like as she opened her mouth to interject. "You have to fight harder than that..." she spoke, a certain harshness in her tone that most likely only Jaelyn would recognize as that harshness that came from a lesson taught solely from experience. "Feeble resistance only serves to strengthen the darkness!"

[Setsuna Hanamori]

The woman grinned as she could tell Setsuna was struggling. She so desperately wanted to give in. But she knew she couldn't. She wasn't exactly sure why, but she just knew she couldn't. As though her life actually depended on it. When Jaelyn showed up, the woman shot her a dirty look. "Oh, it's you..." Setusna immediately looked behind her and saw the who the woman was referring to, and her eyes widened. "N-no...anyone but her..." The woman gave Setsuna a sinister grin "Oh? Why not her? Could it be that you're ashamed? Embarrassed?" "...w-what?" " The woman flashed Jaelyn another dirty look. "Of course you'd be embarrassed. After all, you constantly swore to yourself that you'd never fall in love with anyone again...and yet..."

Setsuna's eyes widened "...n-no! That's not..." "Oh, but it is~ You vehemently avoided getting close to anyone, in fear of getting hurt again. And yet, in spite of all that effort, it still happened....just like me~" There was a sing-song tone in her voice at that last comment, and Setsuna's temper got the better of her "N-no! This is nothing like that!" The woman could only smirk "Is it really so dissimilar? You fell in love with a woman you barely even knew, and you clung to her, even knowing that she would never return your feelings! Just like with me! But there's only one difference...I actually loved you. And I will continue to love you..." Setsuna was shaking the whole time. A combination of anger, embarrassment and despair taking its toll "...n-no...I..." She wasn't sure what to think anymore.

The Shadow wasn't done yet, though "Please Setsuna...come back to me. All the times I abused you...the times I made you cry. I want to make up for them. I'll never strike you again, nor will I ever cheat on you again~! I'll never leave you...and we can be happy" The woman's tone made it clear that it was all deception, and it was in this moment that it could become clear what this "woman was. She was little more than a Shadow who was taking advantage of Setsuna's insecurities. She had Setsuna virtually wrapped around her finger. Everything she was saying sounded too good to be true...and yet, she desperately wanted it to be true. However, unless she snapped out of it, all that would await her is a painful death.

"...I don't...I..." Setsuna was still trying to resist, but her efforts were becoming more feeble by the second. Not even acknowledging Jaelyn and Sakuya's presence at this point, the Shadow leaned in, a sinister grin on her face that Setsuna was too absorbed by internal conflict to notice. "I came all this way just to see you again, you know" She shot Jaelyn a look, then turned back to Setsuna. "You don't need that woman. She couldn't even be bothered to let you know she had a lover. If you keep clinging to her, all that will await you is sorrow. But I'll take care of you...I'll keep you happy. So...what do you say?..." Setsuna had been so lonely, for so long. Her willpower was quickly crumbling away, and it was clear; if Jaelyn and Sakuya didn't do something now, she might be doomed. 

Setsuna knew. Everything about this was wrong. And yet...the temptation was too strong. She'd only be able to resist for so long, and she was already at her limit. 

[Jaelyn Callahan]

Surprisingly, Sakuya had shown up as well after all. She spoke harshly, but her words contained hinted at a very familiar and necessary lesson. One her mother had drilled into her violently when she first started learning to fight, and one she had to put into practice very early on to deal with bullying. And one that had came up plenty of times since then, in increasingly unpleasant situations.

As for the woman who had approached Setsuna...

Well, someone wasn't happy to see her. Although if it wasn't plainly obvious before what this woman's deal was, there was very little questioning it now. There was nothing genuine about her. It had been clear from what Jaelyn had caught of the conversation before that she'd just shown up, unwelcome, and couldn't possibly know that much about what had happened. More so, it was clear that, for someone who had evidently hurt Setsuna in the past, she was trying way too hard to take her back.

Warning bells.

A lot of very unpleasant things were thrown her way by the false woman. With the final jab at her, at how she couldn't even tell Setsuna about Sakuya, Jaelyn had had enough. With the sound of breaking glass, Caligula materialized from her mind, drawing his gladius and preparing to strike. Then, a voice sounded in her head. An unpleasant voice, which she'd hoped to never hear again. It sounded like her mothers, only twisted into something even more monstrous.

"For someone who tries so hard to not be like her mother, you still bare your fangs so readily. Hahaha, you haven't changed at all."

Jaelyn froze. She whispered "shit" under her breath. Caligula vanished, although she didn't lower her weapons. No, at the moment she wasn't entirely sure that she'd dismissed her Persona willingly. After a couple seconds though, she let out a weak, defeated laugh. "Yeah, I guess she's right," Jaelyn said, looking away. "I couldn't tell you. How would I? Almost everyone who does know hates me. But even then, I'm a pretty terrible person. I didn't even think about the possibility of hurting you until it was already too late. But, I can at least admit that much." Her expression hardened as she turned back to face both of them.

"Let me be clear, Setsuna. She's right, I can't and probably never will return your feelings. But I still care about you. Yeah, I fucked up. And maybe it's still just selfishness on my part, in hopes of not becoming an even shittier person than I already am, but I don't want to see you hurt." She turned to glare at the false woman. "What's your excuse?"

[Sakuya Kyoudou]

Sakuya sighed as she realized that Setsuna and that stupid woman had not even acknowledged her presence, nor bothered paying attention to a word she had said. Setsuna was shaking. She was probably terrified. She wanted to resist, she wanted to get away from this disgusting woman, but at the same time, she was lonely. She was very lonely. She needed someone to love her. Apparently, she had gotten hurt as a result of a past relationship... with this woman. An older woman. Abuse... Despicable. Sakuya almost felt bad for Setsuna... if she were even capable of feeling bad for her. Sakuya sighed as she leaned against a nearby wall, watching the scene play out. This shadow of a woman was playing off Setsuna's desire to be with someone again, clearly. It seemed that Setsuna had feelings for Jaelyn the whole time... But Jaelyn didn't do anything about it.

Sakuya faced Jaelyn this time, who, Sakuya reasoned, must have obviously felt partly responsible for this debacle. But right now, there was little Sakuya could do. Not at the moment, anyway. Especially when the shadow even sounded right then and there, how Jaelyn couldn't 'be bothered' to tell Setsuna about her relationship with Sak at the time. Upon hearing this, Sakuya figured something was up... Given what Sakuya knew about Jaelyn, she could hardly blame her for not telling Setsuna about it. Jaelyn must have probably seen Setsuna's emotions and feelings for her as a dependence on her, rather than some form of real attraction to her. However, Jaelyn seemed to take offense to it, trying to call out her Persona... but she immediately recalled it.

She faced off with the shadow and admitted to her faults, but still exclaimed that she cared for, at the very least, the poor girl's wellbeing. Sakuya could accept that much. She had been in that position in the past. Sakuya, at this point, had faded and become her fullblown Shadow form, possessing a figure that could compete very well with the false woman that loomed over Setsuna just now. Her snake-sword was already glowing with an unholy red aura. She silently watched over the scene unfolding before her, prepared to intervene at any moment.